Men in Black
Men in Black

Men in Black

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User Rating: 4 / 5
(1 vote)
Year: 1997
Genre: Action / Comedy / SciFi
Number of Quotes: 83
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Men in Black (1997) (Movie)

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Agent J (Jay): I can't believe you lookin' for tips in the supermarket tabloids!
Agent K (Kay): Not lookin' for. Found.
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Agent J (Jay): [blows out] That's right, that's-- Ooh! Um, Kay! Oh, damn, man! Hey, uh, something's--Kay! Something's peekin', man!
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Rosenburg: [to his cat] Okay, sweetie. Just hang on while I pay the impolite man.
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Agent J (Jay): All we gotta do is go in here and get a cat. It's not that hard. But if you go in there, you're gonna lay your Jack Webb on her, start flashing your brain-ray all in her face. You're gonna wind up giving her leukemia or something. Woman's a doctor. She don't need you flashing away half her med school classes. Five minutes.
Agent K (Kay): Two minutes.
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Police Inspector: I want to talk to you.
NYPD Sergeant: [shouting at Edwards] Ten minutes - you take your best shot, tough guy!
Police Inspector: Outside, now!
James Edwards: Take ten minutes on a Stairmaster, you pudgy bastard!
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INS Agent Janus: Who are you, really?
Agent K (Kay): Really?
[puts on a pair of sunglasses]
Agent K (Kay): I am just a figment of your imagination.
[flashes neuralizer]
Agent K (Kay): Damn, what a gullible breed.
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Agent K (Kay): Searching for a handle on the moment? I can't help you. The only comfort I can offer... is my promise that tomorrow morning you won't remember a thing.
James Edwards: That's not exactly some shit you just forget.
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NYPD Sergeant: Edwards, if you were half the man that I am...
James Edwards: Hey man, what are you talking about? I *am* half the man that you are.
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[the alien perp is on top of a building running away from Jay. He opens up a door and sees Jay pointing his gun at him]
James Edwards: What's up?
Perp: He's coming because I failed and now he'll kill me, too.
James Edwards: Yeah, well you just pissing everybody off today, huh?
Perp: You don't understand. Your world's gonna end.
[He blinks with his eyeballs]
James Edwards: What the hell are you?
[the perp is on the edge of the building]
James Edwards: Hey, watch that ledge. Watch the ledge. Look, come on down and we'll get those eyes fixed. Don't even worry about it. Let me talk to you. Hey, hey!
[the perp raises his arms, falls off the building and lands on the sidewalk]
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Agent J (Jay): [after trying to get Kay and Zed's attention, without any luck] *Hey, Old Guys!* Does this still work?
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Agent K (Kay): So what do you think?
Agent J (Jay): Whew! Very interesting. She got a whole "queen of the undead" thing going on...
Agent K (Kay): What about the body?
Agent J (Jay): Great body...
Agent K (Kay): The *dead* body.
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[after telling Jay that they're going to check the "hot sheets," Kay pulls up to a newsstand and buys a pile of supermarket tabloids]
Agent J (Jay): *These* are the hot sheets?
Agent K (Kay): Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes.
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[after Kay informs Zed that they have a bug]
Agent J (Jay): And what, we don't like bugs?
Agent K (Kay): Bugs thrive on carnage, Tiger. They consume, infest, destroy, live off the death and destruction of other species.
Agent J (Jay): You were stung as a child, weren't you?
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Agent J (Jay): [Steps on roach] Ooo, I'm sorry. Was that your aunty?
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Agent J (Jay): [to bug] Oh, you have so got to die.
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Passport Officer: You ever heard of Division 6?
Police Inspector: There is no Division 6. This is bull shit.
Passport Officer: Yeah.
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Agent K (Kay): [his first lines] We'll take it from here.
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[Jay notices the bug driving away]
Agent J (Jay): Kay...
[raising his gun]
Agent J (Jay): Get down!
[Kay ducks. Jay shoots and the glass window shatters, the mailbox explodes and Jay is thrown against the wall behind him]
Agent J (Jay): Whooo...
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Edgar: Where do you keep your dead?
Manny the News Vendor: [thinks] I don't have any dead.
Edgar: Where?
Manny the News Vendor: I don't know, the city morgue!
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Agent K (Kay): Did anything about that seem unusual to you?

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