Men in Black
Men in Black

Men in Black

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User Rating: 4 / 5
(1 vote)
Year: 1997
Genre: Action / Comedy / SciFi
Number of Quotes: 83
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Men in Black (1997) (Movie)

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Agent K (Kay): You're nothing but a smear on the Sports page to me, you slimy, ugly, intestinal parasite! Eat me! Eat me!
[the Bug swallows Kay whole]
Agent J (Jay): Kay! Kay!
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[first lines]
Nick the Van Driver: Goddamn bugs!
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Dr. Laurel Weaver: Interesting job you guys have.
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Beatrice: Edgar, what on earth was that?
Edgar: Sugar.
Beatrice: I've never seen sugar do that.
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Edgar: Get your big butt back in the house!
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Agent J (Jay): Gonna get your gun back?
Agent K (Kay): I like this gun.
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[after delivering a squid-like alien baby]
Agent J (Jay): You know it's actually kinda...
[baby throws up on him]
Agent J (Jay): cute.
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Perp: He's coming, he's coming.
James Edwards: Yeah and when he gets here I'll arrest his ass too.
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[Jay has just helped deliver an alien baby]
Agent K (Kay): Congratulations, Reg. It's a... squid.
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Agent K (Kay): This is gonna replace CD's soon; guess I'll have to buy the White Album again... Ah...
[diverting attention elsewhere]
Agent K (Kay): That is a lot of fun. It's a universal translator. We're not even supposed to have it, and I'll tell you why... Human thought is so primitive it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. That kind of makes you proud, doesn't it? huh?
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Agent K (Kay): Keep him on THIS planet.
Agent J (Jay): Kay, where are you going?
Agent K (Kay): I'm going to get my gun back.
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[Dr. Weaver is trying to stall Edgar so she can escape]
Dr. Laurel Weaver: You don't want to eat me. I'm a very important person on my planet. Like a queen, a goddess even. There are those who worship me. I'm not saying this to impress you, I'm just warning you it could start a war.
Edgar: War? Good. That means more food for my family. All 78 million of them. That's a lot of mouths to feed, Highness.
Dr. Laurel Weaver: You're a wonderful dad, but I'm staying HERE!
[escapes]
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Agent K (Kay): I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you?
Agent J (Jay): Uh, wait, that was on "Final Jeopardy!" last night. Damn, Alex said...
Agent K (Kay): [opening his cell phone] Zed, we have a bug.
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[Jay is looking at a homely looking man who is holding a dog on a leash]
Agent J (Jay): Now that's the worst disguise ever. That guy's gotta be an alien.
Frank the Pug: You don't like it, you can kiss my furry little butt.
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Edgar: Y'know, I've noticed an infestation here. Everywhere I look, in fact. Nothing but undeveloped, unevolved, barely conscious pond scum, totally convinced of their own superiority as they scurry about their short, pointless lives.
Zap-Em Man: Well, yeah. Uh... don't you want to get rid of 'em?
Edgar: Ah... in the worst way.
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Agent K (Kay): Don't "Sir" me young man, you have no idea who you're dealing with.
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Agent J (Jay): All right, I'm in. 'Cause there's some next level shit going on and I'm OK with that. But before y'all go beaming me up there's one thing you gotta remember: You chose me... so you recognized the skills, so I don't want nobody calling me son or kid or sport or nothing like that, cool?
Agent K (Kay): Cool, whatever you say, slick, but I need to tell you something about all your skills. As of right now, they mean precisely... dick.
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Agent J (Jay): You know what they say. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Agent K (Kay): Try it.
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Edgar: You idiots! You don't get it - I've won! It's over! You're milksuckers! You don't matter; in fact, in just a few seconds you won't even be matter!
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Chief Zed: Kay, give the kid a weapon.
[Kay opens a chest filled with intergalactic guns. He picks up a large rifle]
Agent K (Kay): A Series Four De-atomizer.
Agent J (Jay): That's what I'm talkin' about.
Agent K (Kay): [picks up a very tiny gun and gives it to Jay] Noisy Cricket.
Agent J (Jay): [stares the weapon in disguist] Hey, Kay, nah nah. Come on, man, y-you get a Series Four De-atomizer and I-I get a little - little midget cricket?
Agent K (Kay): [notices Jay is pointing the gun in his direction] WHOA! kid...
[grabs the arm Jay is holding the weapon with and points it away from him]
Agent J (Jay): Feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing.

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