Men in Black
Men in Black

Men in Black

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User Rating: 4 / 5
(1 vote)
Year: 1997
Genre: Action / Comedy / SciFi
Number of Quotes: 83
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Men in Black (1997) (Movie)

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[after getting his head shot off]
Jack Jeebs: You insensitive prick! Do you have any idea how much that stings?
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Agent K (Kay): Roaches check in...
[cocks gun]
Agent J (Jay): [cocks gun] ... But they don't check out.
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Agent J (Jay): We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public!
Agent K (Kay): Man, we ain't got time for this cover-up bullshit! I don't know whether or not you've forgotten, but there's an Arquillian Battle Cruiser that's about to...
Agent J (Jay): There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they Do... Not... Know about it!
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Agent K (Kay): This caused the 1977 New York blackout. A practical joke by the great attractor. He thought it was funny as hell.
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James Edwards: Maybe you already answered this, but, why exactly are we here?
Chief Zed: [Noticing a recruit raising his hand] Son?
Second Lieutenent Jake Jenson: Second Lieutenant, Jake Jenson. West Point. Graduate with honors. We're here because you are looking for the best of the best of the best, sir!
[throws Edwards a contemptible glance]
Second Lieutenent Jake Jenson: [Edwards laughs]
Chief Zed: What's so funny, Edwards?
James Edwards: Boy, Captain America over here! "Best of the best of the best, sir!" "With honors." Yeah, he's just really excited and he has no clue why we're here.
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[in a shooting range, confronted with numerous menacing-looking targets, Edwards shoots a cardboard little girl]
Chief Zed: May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die?
James Edwards: Well, she was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir.
Chief Zed: How'd you come to that conclusion?
James Edwards: Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the street light, and I realized, y'know, he's just working out. I mean, how would I feel if somebody come runnin' in the gym and bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? Then I saw this snarling beast guy, and I noticed he had a tissue in his hand, and I'm realizing, y'know, he's not snarling, he's sneezing. Y'know, ain't no real threat there. Then I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinking, y'know, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night with quantum physics books? She about to start some shit, Zed. She's about eight years old, those books are WAY too advanced for her. If you ask me, I'd say she's up to something. And to be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it.
[pause]
James Edwards: Or do I owe her an apology?
[pauses again]
James Edwards: That's a good shot though...
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Agent J (Jay): [stepping on an insect] Oh, was that your auntie? Then that must be your uncle over there.
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Agent K (Kay): Did he say anything to you?
James Edwards: Yeah, that the world is coming to an end.
Agent K (Kay): Did he say when?
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Agent K (Kay): See ya around, Jay.
Agent J (Jay): No, you won't.
[flashes Kay with neuralyzer]
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Agent K (Kay): Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is terror-assing around Manhattan Island in a brand-new Edgar suit. That sound like fun?
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Agent K (Kay): I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of a hundred memories I don't want.
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Agent K (Kay): You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephalopoid, Jeebs, you piece of shit...
Jack Jeebs: He looked all right to me.
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Agent J (Jay): You do know Elvis is dead, right?
Agent K (Kay): No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home.
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[the Bug takes Dr. Weaver with him into the flying saucer]
Edgar: You're coming with me.
Dr. Laurel Weaver: What?
Edgar: It's a long trip. I'll need a snack.
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James Edwards: Do you see this? Huh? NYPD! Means I will Nock Yo Punkass Down!
Perp: [not listening, seeming to be talking only to himself] He's coming! He's coming!
James Edwards: Yeah, and when he gets here, I'll arrest his ass too.
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Agent K (Kay): Not bad for your second day of work, is it?
Agent J (Jay): This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter.
Agent K (Kay): You should've been here for the Zeronian migration in 1968.
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[Edwards has just jumped from a bridge onto a tour bus]
James Edwards: It just be raining black people in New York.
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James Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Agent K (Kay): A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
James Edwards: What's the catch?
Agent K (Kay): The catch? The catch is you will sever every human contact. Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. Ever. I'll give you to sunrise to think it over.
[starts walking away]
James Edwards: [shouting after Kay] Hey! Is it worth it?
Agent K (Kay): Oh yeah, it's worth it.
[starts walking again, stops and turns back briefly]
Agent K (Kay): If you're strong enough!
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Beatrice: You here to make fun of me too?
Agent K (Kay): No, ma'am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of. May we come in?
Beatrice: Sure.
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Agent K (Kay): Meet the Twins, Bweryang and Bob.

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