Frank Ricard: *Spanish*! Do you trust that we have provided you with enough rope so that your cinder block will fall safely to the ground?

Spanish: Y-Yes sir.

Frank Ricard: Blue, do you trust that I do not want to see you die here tonight?

Blue: Yes, sir.

Frank Ricard: Blue, you're my boy!

Blue: Thank you, sir.

Frank Ricard: Are you sure you're ok with this, Blue?

Blue: Just ring the fucking bell, you pansy.

Frank Ricard: Blue, how come there's no ice in my lemonade?

Blue: Sorry, sir.

Frank Ricard: Drop down and give me ten. Now!

Blue: [bends down into a push-up position] Yes, sir.

Mitch Martin: [after finding out that it's in the bylaw that the only way to keep the fraternity is take a course of tests but Beanie does not want to do it]

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: Who'se lives are ruined?

Mitch Martin: Well, see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass. And now we got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school, and you're not even gonna help them.

Frank Ricard: [Crying] You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy.

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: Earmuffs.

Mitch Martin: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."

Frank Ricard: Cock. Balls.

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.

Frank Ricard: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.

College Student: A big day? Doing what?

Frank Ricard: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Garry: You know, when I get back there, I'm going to show you something called crouching tiger, hidden penis.

Garry: He left me with a little something called herpes. Which I then gave to the dog. But thats neither here nor there.

Mitch Martin: At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: And the answer ladies.... is trust.

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: I know a really good sand guy.

Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.

Frank Ricard: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: [to Frank's father in law] It takes a man to give away an angel. You're sweet.

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: Well why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell: Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through.

Spanish: Damn, I gonna end up workin' at Red Lobster.

Frat Brother: You already work at Red Lobster.

Spanish: Yea, but its part time... dick.

Waiter: Love, it's a motherfucker, huh?

Frank Ricard: You know I was thinking we could go back home... have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.

Frank Ricard: I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Damnit.

Frank Ricard: This is Frank Ricard...