Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2004
Genre: Comedy / Sport
Number of Quotes: 118
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) (Movie)

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Cotton McKnight: Oh! Right in the testicles!
Pepper Brooks: Ouchtown, population you, bro!
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Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!
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Cotton McKnight: We haven't seen Average Joe's yet. They haven't made it to the court. It could be a psychological ploy, or something worse.
Pepper Brooks: They're definitely not on the court, Cotton. Their absence is noticeable.
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Owen: I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom... go to the drink... in the bathroom.
Dwight: Whatever you do, wash your hands.
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Patches O'Houlihan: I love the smell of queef in the morning.
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White Goodman: Do you smell that fitness? I do.
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White Goodman: Last I heard, my gym makes money. Yours doesn't. My gym's worth over $4 million. Your gym isn't worth four. I have shareholders. You haven't even got cup holders.
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Kate Veatch: I'm not a banker, I'm a lawyer.
Peter La Fleur: Really? What kind of law are you involved in, pretty eyes?
Kate Veatch: Sexual harassment, mostly.
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Peter La Fleur: There's someone out there for everybody.
Owen: You think?
Peter La Fleur: Absolutely. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".
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Peter La Fleur: You must be "Daddy"...
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Cotton McKnight: Average Joe's has a tough job, facing the Lumberjacks. These woodsmen probably haven't even smelled a woman in eight months.
Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.
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Voice on phone: This is Seth from Videorama. The following DVDs are now overdue: "Drunken Hussies 3", "Backdoor Patrol 5" and "Bona Lisa Smile". Thank you.
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White Goodman: We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras... and we will, we will, rock you!
[the whole team slaps their thighs, then rears up and hisses loudly]
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White Goodman: Well, that's it. Good guy wins. Bad guy loses. Big freakin' surprise. That's the problem with the American cinema: Can't handle any complexity. "Whoa! Don't make me think!"
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Patches O'Houlihan: If you want to have dodgeball victory, you have to grab it by its haunches and you gotta hump it into submission!
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White Goodman: At Globo Gym we understand that "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
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White Goodman: You're going down like a sweet muffin!
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White Goodman: I'm white. I'm white. W-H-I-T... E.
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Peter La Fleur: You really think you can come in here and buy me out, White, you're a lot dumber than I thought.
White Goodman: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I was once.
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Cotton McKnight: Las Vegas. A city built of hot sand, broken dreams and $5 lobster. A city where you can get a happy ending, if you pay a little extra. A city home to a sporting event greater than the World Cup, World Series and World War II combined.

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