Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2004
Genre: Comedy / Sport
Number of Quotes: 118
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) (Movie)

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[last lines]
White Goodman: You happy? Fatty make a funny?
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Dodgeball Chancellor: Captains, shake hands. Let's have a clean match.
Peter La Fleur: [holds out his hand] Good luck, White.
White Goodman: [reaches to take it, then pulls a psych] Cram it up your cramhole, La Fleur!
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Patches O'Houlihan: [giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!
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Young Patches O'Houlihan: Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation.
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White Goodman: Oh, hello, Kate. I wasn't aware I was paying you to "socialize".
Kate Veatch: You're not. I'm off the clock.
White Goodman: Well, isn't that convenient for you? And the clock.
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White Goodman: Your "gym" is a skidmark on the underpants of society.
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Kate Veatch: For instance, do you realize you haven't collected any membership fees in 13 months?
Peter La Fleur: Hmmm...
Kate Veatch: I'm curious, is it strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Kate Veatch: Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.
Peter La Fleur: Sad? You want to know what's sad? Six grown men playing dodgeball.
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Casino Worker: [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest] Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.
Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
White Goodman: [curious with anger] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?
Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?
Owen: $50,000?
Kate Veatch: $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?
Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!
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White Goodman: This is it, La 'Loser.' You ready for the, whoo, hurricane?
Peter La Fleur: Just don't go cryin' to your mommy when I spank you in front of all these people, White.
White Goodman: You don't go cryin' to your daddy after I wipe it up with your face.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, White?
White Goodman: Yeah?
Peter La Fleur: You look awful fat in those pants.
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Dwight: Bad morning boss?
Peter La Fleur: They usually follow good nights, Dwight.
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[while everyone is doing the shuttle run]
Patches O'Houlihan: Come on! I get better runs in my shorts!
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White Goodman: [the judges vote to let Average Joe's play] That is pure poppycock!
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[the Average Joes are dressed in S&M leather]
Audience Member: Hey, asshole! You guys suck!
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Gordon: Hey, Honey!
[his wife gives the "L" sign]
Gordon: "L" for love! Good times.
Dwight: "L" for love? That doesn't mean love, Gordon...
Peter La Fleur: No, it's... people have different translations for different things and that's a special bond that you have with uh... with your mail-order wife. I think that's nice. It's fine.
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White Goodman: Stick it in your ear, La Fleur. I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silver. The gym is mine! So you can take your band of yellow-bellied losers and just crawl on outta here!
Peter La Fleur: You're right, White. I can't make you sell back my gym, so I'll just take your advice and invest in something. Say... the controlling stake of Globo Gym.
White Goodman: That's preposterous! I'd never allow it.
Kate Veatch: Globo Gym is a publicly-traded company, there's nothing you can do about it.
Peter La Fleur: So, I would control Globo Gym and... everything that Globo Gym owns. Which as of last night is Average Joe's Gym!
[Average Joe's Team cheering]
Peter La Fleur: I'm your new boss, White.
White Goodman: You can't be my boss! Nobody's my boss! I'm my own boss! I created myself!
Peter La Fleur: You're fired, pal.
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Dwight: We're still missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.
Owen: Who's Steve the Pirate?
Dwight: The only guy on our team that dresses like a pirate!
Owen: Wait, there's a guy on our team who dresses like a pirate?
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Kate Veatch: [outside Kate's house] White? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?
White Goodman: It's called the Freedom of Information Act, Kate. The hippies finally got something right! Ha-ha! Just kidding. But not really.
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White Goodman: [about Average Joe's] Oh, really, you like it over there with those freaks in Losertown?
Kate Veatch: Freaks? They're not freaks, they're people just like you and me.
White Goodman: People, haha, people just like you and me! That is what I love about you Kate! You've got a *personality*!
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White Goodman: I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.
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Owen: [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed] Look on the bright side, at least we've still got Peter!
Dwight: Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!
Justin: [Whispers to Gordon] What's a taint?
Gordon: I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!

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