Wedding Crashers
Wedding Crashers

Wedding Crashers

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2005
Genre: Comedy / Romance
Number of Quotes: 139
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Wedding Crashers (2005) (Movie)

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Jeremy Grey: Guys, the real enemy here, is the institution of marriage, it unrealistic, it's crazy!
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Secretary Cleary: It's crap!
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[after Sack announces his engagement to Claire at the dining table]
Ken Cleary: Congratulations, young man! Welcome to the family!
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Jeremy Grey: [confessing to Father O'Neil] You wanna know what the kicker is, father? Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy. That's right, maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. Maybe there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise, I know it's not on the surface. I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was kid, and his name was Shiloh! We used to play checkers with each other every day, and bless his heart, Shiloh would always let me win!
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[first lines]
Mr. Kroeger: I don't have custody of the kids.
Mrs. Kroeger: You know what?
Mr. Kroeger: I don't get custody.
Mrs. Kroeger: It is an insane pathetic joke, what I've had to go through.
Mr. Kroeger: Right now, right now, she doesn't know where the kids are, do you?
Mrs. Kroeger: Do not talk about me as a mother.
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Jeremy Grey: That's not how you cut cake, you gotta treat cake like a lady!
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[Gloria is treating Jeremy's badly cut leg]
Jeremy Grey: Oh Jesus Christ, it burns.
Gloria Cleary: Poor baby.
Jeremy Grey: It stings.
Gloria Cleary: You want me to blow on it?
Jeremy Grey: [thinking it's a blow job] No! No! I don't need any blowing.
Gloria Cleary: Jeremy... I'm not wearin' any panties. Let's rock!
[Gloria spins her hair around]
Jeremy Grey: Ok. Ok. That was nice. I don't understand what's going on. It's like, eight hours ago you were a shy little virgin, and now you're not wearing any panties. I'm just trying to catch up with you here.
Gloria Cleary: You do that to me? Ooh...
[she grabs Jeremy's crotch]
Gloria Cleary: Where's my little friend? Where's my little friend?
Jeremy Grey: [panicking] He's tired! He's tired! He's in time-out! He's in time-out!
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Mrs. Reinhold: Pick up your fucking skateboard!
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John Beckwith: Oh, *you're* gonna cover me.
Claire Cleary: Like white on rice.
John Beckwith: All right I like my odds here. Let me give you a little warning, I'm going downtown. Look for me in the endzone after this play, I'll be the guy holding the ball.
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John Beckwith: [to a group of children at a wedding] Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either.
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[Todd gets up angrily from the dining table]
Todd Cleary: I'll be in my room, painting.
[pause]
Todd Cleary: Homo things!
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Jeremy Grey: That's interesting John, that glass looks half full to me.
John Beckwith: Wow, now that you mention it, it *is* half full.
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Jeremy Grey: I can't take any more of this fucking shit!
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[after playing football]
Kathleen Cleary: Boy, it's hot out here.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Kathleen Cleary: You should've played in your underwear.
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[seeing Gloria throwing a tantrum in front of her father]
Jeremy Grey: Looks like a little kid at Toys-R-Us.
[pause]
Jeremy Grey: I can't be around her.
John Beckwith: Get off your high horse and stop judging people.
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[Claire enters the bathroom and finds Sack vomiting in the toilet]
Claire Cleary: Are you okay?
Sack Lodge: Well, Claire. My head's buried in a toilet. What do you think? You do the math.
Claire Cleary: Honey, it's ok to be vulnerable sometimes, it's just me.
Sack Lodge: You know, you can just cut that psycho babble bullshit your mom tells you ok? You wanna help me out? Do ya? Do ya kid? Why don't you go get me a 7Up, ok? All right, 'cause I think I might get vulnerable again.
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Chazz Reinhold: Mom! The meat loaf! Fuck!
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Chazz Reinhold: I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize!
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Todd Cleary: Let's play tummy sticks.
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Secretary Cleary: Well, the guy wants to run for president, he thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease.
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