Wedding Crashers
Wedding Crashers

Wedding Crashers

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2005
Genre: Comedy / Romance
Number of Quotes: 139
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Wedding Crashers (2005) (Movie)

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John Beckwith: You better lock it up.
Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: You lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
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[in a speech at Christina's wedding, quoting what John has just told her]
Claire Cleary: True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
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Claire Cleary: What is true love?
John Beckwith: True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
Claire Cleary: It's a little cheesy but I like it.
John Beckwith: I read it on a bumper sticker!
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John Beckwith: Hey, listen. What angle are you going to play here?
Jeremy Grey: I am going to go with the balloon animal display. For the kids. And then when she comes close to check it out, guess who is the broken man, haunted past? How about you?
John Beckwith: I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club.
Jeremy Grey: It's all deadly.
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Hindu Woman: [while dancing at a wedding reception] French Foreign Legion?
John Beckwith: Yeah, we lost a lot of good men out there.
[cut to another reception]
Bridesmaid: Mount Everest?
Jeremy Grey: I don't like to talk about it because we lost so many good men out there.
[cut to another reception]
John Beckwith: We lost so many good men out there.
Bridesmaid: Playing with the Yankees?
John Beckwith: Yes, with the Yankees you loose good men to trades and unruly fans. Look I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry.
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[Jeremy punches Sack, sending him sprawling to the ground]
Jeremy Grey: Share that with the Dalai Lama, jack ass!
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John Beckwith: I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that?
Jeremy Grey: John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
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[Jeremy wakes up in the middle of the night to find Gloria on top of him rubbing her nipples on his face and tying his hands and feet to the bed]
Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.
Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I'm pretty sure that is *not* what I've been saying to you.
Gloria Cleary: [seductively] Baby, I'm going to make all your fantasies come true.
Jeremy Grey: But this is not fantasy...
[he mumbles and moans as she gags him, then starts squirming]
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Secretary Cleary: Once Sack and Claire tie the knot, two of the great American families, the Clearys and the Lodges, will finally unite.
John Beckwith: And then of course you can challenge the Klingons for interstellar domination.
[stunned silence, then Claire laughs]
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Claire Cleary: Oh, so you're hiding I see.
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Vivian: Would you say you're completely full of shit or just 50%?
John Beckwith: I hope just 50 but who knows.
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[to impress Gloria, Jeremy has been making balloon models for the children]
Gloria Cleary: You're good.
Jeremy Grey: I'm just warming up. Last week I did an exact replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don't have anywhere to put it.
Gloria Cleary: OK then, I'll take a sports car.
Jeremy Grey: How about a dance?
Gloria Cleary: That's what I really wanted.
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Chazz Reinhold: [almost whispering] What the fuck do you want?
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Jeremy Grey: Have you even shot one of these things before?
John Beckwith: The whole 17 years we've known each other I've been sneaking off to go on little hunting trips around the world. No, I don't even know what the fuck a quail is!
Jeremy Grey: I feel totally ridiculous. Like why do I have to be in camouflage? So the big bad quail doesn't see me?
John Beckwith: I know. Why can't we hunt something cool like a hawk or an eagle, something with some talons?
Jeremy Grey: That'd be awesome. We could get something like big game. Even like a gorilla or a rhinoceros or a fucking human being! That'll get you jacked up.
John Beckwith: That's a little heavy.
Jeremy Grey: I mean like, hunt a human being right now, "Most Dangerous Game". Like a worthy adversary. Not a human being that's armed, but a clever, a clever, human being who knows the jungle. Or the woods.
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Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.
John Beckwith: What?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what"? What a great friend. John. This is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime.
John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me fifty miles to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.
Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very, very family-oriented girl. And very into her grandmother.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!
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John Beckwith: I don't mean to pry.
Claire Cleary: Yes, you do.
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Jeremy Grey: I always knew I was never going to be a professional bull fighter, but that's not why I did it.
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Woman at Jewish Reception: I saw you at the wedding.
John Beckwith: Yeah?
Woman at Jewish Reception: You were crying.
John Beckwith: Oh shit! You weren't supposed to see that. Now you probably think I'm a big pussy.
Woman at Jewish Reception: No, you were so sweet.
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John Beckwith: That brings us to the question of frequent flyer miles.
Mrs. Kroeger: I want them.
John Beckwith: Know what we're gonna do? We're gonna split them right down the middle. How would that be, Mr Kroeger?
Mr. Kroeger: It would be not good at all. I earned those miles.
Mrs. Kroeger: Yeah, you earned them flying to Denver to meet your whore.
Mr. Kroeger: She's not afraid to express herself sexually if that's what you mean.
Mrs. Kroeger: She's a stripper, for God's sake.
Mr. Kroeger: She is not.
Mrs. Kroeger: Her name is Chastity. She is white trash, same as you. Hillbilly!
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Jeremy Grey: Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?
Gloria Cleary: What?
Jeremy Grey: That we're all one. That separateness is an illusion, and that I'm one with everyone - with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from 'What's Happening,' the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote 'Catcher in the Rye,' Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

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