Weather Man
Weather Man

The Weather Man

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2005
Genre: Comedy / Drama
Number of Quotes: 29
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from The Weather Man (2005) (Movie)

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Dave Spritz: [thinking] I wish I had two dicks.
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Dave Spritz: Man, I'd like to put my face in there. Right in there. Tartar sauce. My hips are cold. Tartar sauce. That's when you know its cold. I like eating pussy. Tartar sauce. A lot of guys don't. Well maybe they do. Maybe that's just black guys. Tartar sauce. What happened to the guy who was trying to fly around the world in a balloon? Did he make it? I should put some espionage or stolen plutonium in my novel. Tartar sauce. Spice it up. Neil Young. Fuck, its cold. Neil Young. Wh-why am I thinking about Neil Young. Neil Diamond. Neil... Theres not a lot of famous Neils. Is this Wednesday? I wish I had two dicks. I thought the whole family was going to learn Spanish together this year. That never really happened. I haven't had a Spanish omelette in a long time. Here we go.
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Dave Spritz: I mean, I'll bet no one ever threw a pie at, like Harriet Tubman, the founder of the Underground railroad. I'll bet you a million fucking dollars.
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Dave Spritz: The other thing that gets to people, that leads to pies, I guess are these catch phrases we're required to use to single the program out. It gets under people's skin. Spritz Nipper. But the whole thing about all of it, all the getting hit with stuff, the whole thing is, who gets hit with a fucking pie, anyway? Did anyone ever throw a pie at Thomas Jefferson? Or Buzz Aldrin? I doubt it. But this is like the ninth time I got
[pause]
Dave Spritz: Clowns get hit with pies.
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Dave Spritz: Here's something that if you want your father to think you're not a silly fuck, don't slap a guy across the face with a glove because if you do that, that's what he will think. Unless you're a noble man or something in the nineteenth century. Which I am not.
Dave Spritz: It was a McDonald's hot apple pie. They're not kidding. It was hot.
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Dave Spritz: The first time I was struck with something, a chicken breast from Kenny Rogers. I was standing next to a garbage pail. I thought it might've been an accident, that they were throwing it out. The second time, it hit me square on the chin, a soft taco. Then, pop. A falafel. McNuggets. Always fast food. Fast food. Shit people would rather throw out than finish. It's easy. It tastes all right, but it doesn't really provide you any nourishment
[pause]
Dave Spritz: I'm fast food.
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Dave Spritz: Always fast food. Fast food. Things that people would rather throw out than finish. It's easy, it tastes all right, but it doesn't really provide you any nourishment. I'm fast food.
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Dave Spritz: We both just think it's better for the kids.
Robert Spritzel: David, sacrifice is... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.
Dave Spritz: I know that dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it's gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It's just too hard.
Robert Spritzel: Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.
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[from trailer]
Dave Spritz: People don't throw things at me any more. Maybe because I carry a bow around.

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