There's Something About Mary
There's Something About Mary

There's Something About Mary

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 1998
Genre: Comedy / Romance
Number of Quotes: 41
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


Movie Quotes Tools, add memorable movie quotes to your website

Latest


Partners

Entertainment Links

News

Crypt Above Marilyn Monroe For Sale

A window has put up an ebay ad selling the crypt just above Marilyn Monroe now occupied by her husband . She says that she is doing it to pay off her debts . The bidding for "Spend Eternity Directly Above

Get more news on the TMQ Blog!

Movie Quotes from There's Something About Mary (1998) (Movie)

Sign up to vote for your favorite quote!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[Ted, Pat, and Tucker have all gone gaga over Mary]
Pat Healy: [to Tucker] We agreed I wouldn't fuck you, and you wouldn't fuck me until we got this fuck
[Ted]
Pat Healy: outta the fuckin' picture!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Warren Jensen: Have you seen my baseball?
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[When Ted gets his genitals stuck in the zippers]
Charlie Jensen: Is it the frank or the beans?
Ted Stroehmann: I don't know, both I guess.
Warren Jensen: [from outside] Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Ted Stroehmann: Japan? What's she doing in Japan?
Pat Healy: Well, you've heard of mail-order brides? Well, they go that way too.
Ted Stroehmann: What, are they desperate? She's a whale!
Pat Healy: You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sorta like, um, tuna.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Ted Stroehmann: I think I still want to look her up.
Pat Healy: Who, rollerpig? Are you nuts?
Ted Stroehmann: You said she was a real sparkplug.
Pat Healy: No, I said buttplug. She's heinous.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted Stroehmann: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.
Ted Stroehmann: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted Stroehmann: I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted Stroehmann: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted Stroehmann: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted Stroehmann: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted Stroehmann: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Mary Jensen: Who needs him? I've got a vibrator!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Magda: The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[Tossing drug-laced doggie treats into Mary's apartment]
Pat Healy: Wait... how many is this?
Norman Phipps: Umm... four.
Pat Healy: Four? That seems like an aweful lot of speed to give one little pooch. Are you sure it won't kill him?
Norman Phipps: I never said that.
Pat Healy: ...eh.
[tosses another through the window anyway]
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Mary Jensen: You've been to Nepal?
Pat Healy: Not in months, I don't know why I bought the damn place.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Pat Healy: What, you think yer shit don't stink?
Ted Stroehmann: No, I don't think, I mean, yes it does, no I don't...
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[Pointing to large dog in back seat]
Pat Healy: Does he bite?
Sully: A little bit. Get in.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Dom Woganowski: Here you've been in therapy, you know, thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever, and really it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Ted Stroehmann: Do you think maybe you wanna maybe, I don't know, go out to dinner, you know, catch up on old times?
Mary Jensen: Didn't we just do that?
Ted Stroehmann: Oh, uh...
Mary Jensen: I'm fucking with you, Ted!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[Pretending to like retarded kids]
Pat Healy: Those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going.
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Ted Stroehmann: What about Brett Fav... ruh?
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Mary's Step-Father: Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
Dom Woganowski: Have you ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[after Mary asks Ted to the prom]
Ted Stroehmann: [narrating] From that point on, the guys looked at me in a completely different light.
High School Pal Bob: You're a fuckin' liar!
0
points
I like this quote!I don't like this quote!
[after Mary addresses Ted by name]
Ted Stroehmann: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

Submit missing quotes by clicking here!

Recommendations

If you enjoyed quotes from this title, we also recommend:

 Hitch

37 Quotes

TMQ User Rating

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
 FRIENDS

5 Quotes

TMQ User Rating

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
 What Happens in Vegas

21 Quotes

TMQ User Rating

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
 You, Me and Dupree

24 Quotes

TMQ User Rating

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
 Along Came Polly

30 Quotes

TMQ User Rating

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

Contact | RSS | Report Bug | Blog | Tools | Sitemap

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

© 2008 TheMovieQuotes.com All Rights Reserved.