Meet the Parents
Meet the Parents

Meet the Parents

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2000
Genre: Comedy / Romance
Number of Quotes: 44
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Meet the Parents (2000) (Movie)

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Jack Byrnes: Have you ever watched pornographic videos?
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Jack Byrnes: Denny can you- what is that?
Denny Byrnes: Oh this, um, well, it's a sculpture I found in Greg's jacket.
Jack Byrnes: This isn't a sculpture. It's a device people use to smoke marijiuana.
Denny Byrnes: Reeaally.
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Kevin Rawley: There he is. Okay, G-Man, we've got swordfish and we've got salmon, what'll it be?
Greg Focker: How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog, I'm pretty hungry.
Jack Byrnes: I think they call that the 'munchies'.
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Greg Focker: [practising his speech on a patient at the hospital] Will you marry me?
Greg's Hospital Patient: Yes.
Greg Focker: Seriously, do you think that sounds good?
Greg's Hospital Patient: [flinching] No.
Greg Focker: Really, because I think that pretty much sums up everything...
Greg's Hospital Patient: [struggling] No!
Greg Focker: [looking down] Oh, sorry.
[holding up catheter]
Greg Focker: Sometimes these catheters can pinch a little bit.
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Jack Byrnes: If I set you up, do you think you can spike it, Focker?
Greg Focker: Well, I would have to get pretty high.
Jack Byrnes: I bet you would, Panama Red.
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Greg Focker: It's beautiful... what is it?
Kevin Rawley: It's an altar; or you might call it a HHH... Chupah?
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[last lines]
Greg Focker: You have another question? Sure, I got one question for you. It's CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT?
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Jack Byrnes: What are you guys doing in here?
Dr. Larry Banks: Looks like rounding second base.
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Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse.
Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack.
Kevin Rawley: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of a everyone wins thing.
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Greg Focker: [In the car looking for Mr. Jinx] Hey Jinx, Mew, mew, mew. Supposed to let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet, fucker.
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Deborah Byrnes: No. We are not gonna postpone the rehearsal for some stupid cat.
Jack Byrnes: Stupid cat? How can you say that? That cat's been like a brother to you. And we're supposed to just let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet?
[looking around the house]
Jack Byrnes: Denny. DENNY?
Denny Byrnes: Right here, dad.
Jack Byrnes: Okay, you're subbing for the cat today.
Denny Byrnes: Oh no, I'm not wearing that stupid pillow thing on my head.
Jack Byrnes: Oh yes you damn well will!
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Greg Focker: [on the phone] Yeah, you gave me the wrong suitcase. Uh-huh. Yes, it's a black Samsonite. Uh-huh. Ok, well don't you think that the Samsonite people, in some crazy scheme in order to make a profit, MADE MORE THAN ONE BLACK SUITCASE?
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Jack Byrnes: You tried to milk him, didn't you you sick son of a bitch?
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Jack Byrnes: Jesus, Focker. It's just a game.
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Pam Byrnes: You never told me about your cat milking days in Motown.
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Late Night Courier: Gaylord M. Focker?
Greg Focker: That's me.
Jack Byrnes: I thought your name was Greg.
Greg Focker: It is.
Late Night Courier: That's not what it says here.
Greg Focker: Gaylord is my legal name. Nobody's called me by it since third grade.
Denny Byrnes: Wait a minute, so your name is Gay Focker?
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[Greg is sitting in the dark. Pam walks in to check on him]
Pam Byrnes: What's the matter sweetie? Can't sleep?
Greg Focker: No, no. I was just going over my answers to the polygraph test your dad just gave me.
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Kevin Rawley: [On who inspired him to be a wood worker] I'd have to say Jesus. He was a carpenter and I figured if you're going to follow in somebody's footsteps, why not the steps of our lord and savior?
Jack Byrnes: [Before Greg has a chance to respond] Greg's Jewish.
Kevin Rawley: Really?
Greg Focker: Yeah.
[Jack smiles and nods]
Kevin Rawley: Well so was J.C...
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Greg Focker: Don't worry about your little covert op, I'll keep it on the low down.
Denny Byrnes: Down low.
Greg Focker: No doubt.
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Jack Byrnes: Greg's in medicine too.
Dr. Bob Banks: What field?
Greg Focker: Nursing.
Dr. Bob Banks: Ha ha ha ha. No, really, what field are you in?
Greg Focker: Nursing.

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