Meet the Fockers
Meet the Fockers

Meet the Fockers

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2004
Genre: Comedy / Romance
Number of Quotes: 53
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Meet the Fockers (2004) (Movie)

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[repeated line]
Little Jack: Ass-'ole!
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Jack Byrnes: I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker: It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes: What kind of sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker: Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes: It was your idea?
Roz Focker: Yes.
Jack Byrnes: What is wrong with you people?
Bernie Focker: You people?
Dina Byrnes: I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
Jack Byrnes: Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker: Jack. he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes: He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his devlopment.
Roz Focker: The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker: Mom.
Jack Byrnes: What are you saying?
Roz Focker: I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here and and I've got news for you, Jack, prodigies don't eat there own boogers.
Jack Byrnes: And I've got news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes: Okay, Dad. That's my fiance.
Jack Byrnes: I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker: Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes: The Little Jack in me?
[Greg is getting extremely frusrated]
Roz Focker: Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes: Will you spare my the drugstore pyschology.
Greg Focker: [everyone starts arguing] Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP, okay?
[everyone is quiet]
Greg Focker: Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.
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Local Cop: He's got a rubber boobie!
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Bernie Focker: This is capoeira, man. This is some hardcore shit.
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[Bernie is laying under the RV to prevent Jack from leaving]
Jack Byrnes: Bernie, get out from under the car or I will run you over!
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Bernie Focker: If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down... Oops, looks like I forgot my own rule
[flushes the toilet]
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Greg Focker: You meet some of the... eh... some of the cousins?
Jack Byrnes: I met some, yes. I met some... Dom?
Greg Focker: Yeah, Dom Focker, that's my dad's... uh... first cousin. You meet his kids, Randy and Orny?
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Pam Byrnes: No! After next month, I am going to be Pamela Martha Focker. I... I know how that sounds but I don't care!
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Bernie Focker: Can you believe I fathered him with just one testicle?
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[after the Byrnes' cat flushes the Fockers' dog down the toilet]
Roz Focker: Your cat can flush?
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Jack Byrnes: I'm not so sure this wedding is such a good idea. I don't like what I'm seeing from these Fockers.
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Bernie Focker: [proposing a touch football game] Dina, you and I will take on Jack and Roz. Come on, Jack, it'll be fun - we'll swap wives.
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Jack Byrnes: Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is?
Greg Focker: Love, friendship... just love, I think.
Jack Byrnes: His legacy.
Greg Focker: That, too.
Jack Byrnes: If your family's circle joins in my family's circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain.

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