Men in Black 2
Men in Black 2

Men in Black 2

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2002
Genre: Action / Comedy / SciFi
Number of Quotes: 75
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Men in Black 2 (2002) (Movie)

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MIB Customs Agent: Purpose of visit?
Serleena: Education. I really want to learn how to be an underwear model. They say I've got real potential.
[opens jacket]
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[Jay neuralyzes Agent Tee]
Agent Jay: Get married, have a bunch of kids.
Agent Tee: Okay.
Agent Jay: [to a waitress on his way out] Hey, listen. My buddy's kind of shy, but he thinks you are HOT.
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Agent Jay: I need a containment crew at the subway station at 81st Street. Revoke Jeff's movement privileges immediately. Have a team escort him back to the subway. And would someone *please* check the expiration date on the Unipod worm tranquilizers?
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Frank the Pug: How about we do the good cop, bad cop routine? You can interrogate the witness, and I growl. Grrrrr...
Agent Jay: Aww, now wait, how about we do the good cop, dumb dog thing, and you just shut up?
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[after a disappointing performance]
Agent Tee: [Crying] You're going to neuralize me, brought me to a public place so I wouldn't make a scene.
Agent Jay: You ARE making a scene.
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Agent Jay: I'm not going to take advice on relationships from a guy who chases his own ass.
Frank the Pug: That is canine profiling, and I resent it!
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Newton: Guys, before we start the tape, one more thing - what's up with anal probing? I mean, do they really come billions of light years just to...
Agent Jay: Boy... Move!
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Newton: A neuralize...
Agent Jay: Ok. First, get some contact lenses, cause those joints look like they could pick up cable. Second, take her to Cambodia, get her a lobster dinner. Pay more then a dollar. Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia, move your bum ass outta your mom's house. Boy, you like forty years old.
Agent Kay: Agent Jay.
Agent Jay: Aight! Oh, and there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black.
[Jay leaves]
Newton: You wanna go to Cambodia?
Hailey: Yeah.
Newton: Hey, Mom?
[Newton picks up a shovel]
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Agent Jay: Jarra, you are under arrest for being that ugly, and for making that many copies!
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Undercover alien intelligence officer: I could be Agent M.
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[after Kay shoots Jeebs in the head]
Agent Jay: You're back.
Agent Kay: No.
Agent Jay: Then how did you know that his head would grow back?
Agent Kay: [tortured voice] It grows back?
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Frank the Pug: D'ya tell the girl you love her?
Agent Jay: Look, man, she's a witness in a murder case, that's it.
Frank the Pug: Yada, yada, you're attracted. She's not even my species, and I'm attracted.
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Zed: You didn't neauralize another one?
Agent Jay: What's that supposed to mean? Okay, you can't count A, and L really wanted to go back to that morgue.
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Agent Kay: You're standing between me and my memories, pal. Now you have this deneuralyzer thing or not?
Jack Jeebs: Mmm, no. Fresh out.
[Jay and Kay stare at him]
Jack Jeebs: Can't help you.
[They continue staring]
Jack Jeebs: Don't got it...
[Jay and Kay continue to stare. Jeebs cracks]
Jack Jeebs: Even if I did, if it doesn't work, K dies, you blow my head off. If it does work, I brought back K who, just for the fun of it, blows my head off. Sooo, *what's* my incentive?
[Kay raises his gun to Jeebs' head]
Jack Jeebs: [Weak laugh] Okay homey, I keep it right downstairs next to the snowblower.
[Kay smiles, satisfied, and he and Jay follow Jeebs]
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[as Jeff devours the commuter train from one end, the passengers crowd at the head of the train in panic. The conductor comes out]
Captain Larry Bridgewater: You people clear out of here before I start knocking heads together!
Agent Jay: You get back in that cabin, and you put the hammer down on this thing!
Captain Larry Bridgewater: I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater, and *I* decide what happens on this train.
Agent Jay: Oh, you decide? Okay, come on.
[puts an arm around Larry, steers him to the rear of the crowd, and points]
Agent Jay: Larry, this my man Jeff.
[Jeff takes another huge bite out of the back of the train]
Captain Larry Bridgewater: Larry just made a decision.
Agent Jay: Yeah, Larry need to get his ass back in that cabin.
Captain Larry Bridgewater: Yeah...
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Agent Jay: Worms! Give me some cover fire!
Worms: Too scared, can't move!
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Agent Jay: Sweet dreams, big boy!
[jabs the tranquilizer into Jeff, only aggravating him. After a few moments time, J reloads the tranquilizer]
Agent Jay: Whoo! Sweet...
[is launched forward]
Agent Jay: dreeeeeeaaaaaaams...
Agent Jay: [crashes through back window of a subway car] ... big boy. Transit authority people! Please move to the forward car, we got a bug in the electrical system!
[passengers ignore him]
Agent Jay: Yo! People! We got a bug in the electrical system!
[Jeff bites off a large portion of the subway car, and the passengers start running to the front]
Agent Jay: Yeah, now y'all runnin'! Now y'all- no, no, no, come on, sit down, sit down! It's only a 600 foot worm!
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Ben: You want some cheese on them? She has Palsy and end's up putting a whole lot on.
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Agent Jay: Whoo! Flushed! Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, you used to love gettin' flushed. Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd be like "flush me, J! Flush me!" and I'd be like "Naw...” You can't quit on me now, K.
Agent Kay: I save to world, you tell me why I stare at the stars.
Agent Jay: Cool.
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Agent Jay: How ya' feelin'?
Agent Kay: Goodbye...
[walks away]
Agent Jay: Kay!
Jack Jeebs: K, wait! I never got the updated software!
[to Jay]
Jack Jeebs: Still workin' off the 6.0...
[to Kay]
Jack Jeebs: Your brain needs to reboot!

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