Analyze This
Analyze This

Analyze This

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 1999
Genre: Comedy / Crime
Number of Quotes: 45
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Analyze This (1999) (Movie)

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Scott MacNamara: You're Paul Vitti. The Mobster
Boss Paul Vitti: Now is that polite? Is that nice? I'm tryin' to be nice over here. Do I go up to you and say, "Hey, you're so-and-so, the Hard-On?"
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FBI Agent Steadman: Dr. Sobel, Mam. I'm Agent Steadman, Agent Ricci, Agent Provano, Federal Bureau Of Investigation, OCD.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?
FBI Agent Ricci: Organized Crime Division. We need to talk.
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Dr. Ben Sobel: That's it! Over! I'm no longer your doctor!
Boss Paul Vitti: What? 'Cause of this?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Because of this little DOUBLE HOMICIDE? YES!
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Boss Paul Vitti: That's very good, here's you
[imitates Ben]
Boss Paul Vitti: "Oh, thats interesting. How does that *feel* to you? Anger is a blocked wish. Boo fuckin' hoo hoo."
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[Vitti is trying to forgive Primo for attempting to whack him]
Boss Paul Vitti: And hopefully, hopefully... if you make one more move on me, you motherfucker, I'll fuckin' cut your fuckin' balls off and shove 'em up your fuckin' ass. I'll fuckin' bury you! I'm gonna stick ice picks in your eyes and send 'em to your family so they can eat them for dessert!
Primo Sidone: Hey, Paul.
Boss Paul Vitti: What?
Primo Sidone: Fuck you.
Boss Paul Vitti: [throws down phone] That motherfucker!
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Caroline: [complaining about her ex-boyfriend] What do you think I should do?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, what I think you should do... is stop whining about this pathetic loser.
[Sobel stands up]
Dr. Ben Sobel: You are a tragedy queen! "Oh, Steve doesn't like me!" "Steve doesn't respect me!" Oh, who gives a shit? GET A FUCKIN' LIFE!
Caroline: Dr Sobel?
[Sobel, back in his chair, snaps out of a daze]
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[when two hit men attack Paul and Ben in a junkyard, Ben grabs Paul's gun and blindly shoots back - he straightens up and sees two dead men]
Dr. Ben Sobel: J-Jelly? Did I do that?
Jelly: No, Doc. That one's mine. You got the '72 Chevy, and the Amana side-by-side refrigerator-freezer.
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Boss Paul Vitti: [narrating] 1957 was a big year. The Russians put that Sputnik into outer space, the Dodgers played their last game at Ebbets Field to say goodbye to Brooklyn, that guy shot Frank Costello in the head, and missed, and the Gallo brothers whacked Albert Anastasia in the barber shop of the Sheraton View hotel. It was total chaos. With Anastasia out of the way, Vito Genovese figures he's the big boss. But Carlo Gambino and Joe Bananas, they had other ideas. So they called a meeting. A big meeting.
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[Paul is anxious about his impotence]
Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times...
Boss Paul Vitti: *Three* times.
Dr. Ben Sobel: ...three times, is not catastrophic.
Boss Paul Vitti: Well, maybe not to you, look at you. But if I can't get it up, that makes me less of a man, and I can't have that. In my world I deal with animals, Doctor. They may seem dumb to an educated guy like you, but make no mistake, Doctor, animals are very cunning, and they sense weakness.
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Dr. Ben Sobel: This is impossible. This is you: "Doc, I'm in pain, you gotta help me." "Okay, Paul, I'll help you." "Fuck you! Nobody helps Paul Viti!"
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[Ben rushes up to Paul's room after Jelly throws a hit man off the balcony onto the wedding party]
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, people get depressed, they jump. But that ain't my fault.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, so you're telling me it was suicide?
Boss Paul Vitti: I don't know, he probably left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?
Jelly: [taking out a pen] Uh no, but they will in a minute.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't fucking take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy."
Jelly: Hey, that's good, Doc.
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[Ben Sobel is in a bathroom stall of Paul Vitti's favorite restaurant trying to remove an FBI wire from his chest with Jelly standing outside. He hears Ben grunting and swearing]
Jelly: You should get more roughage in your diet, Doc. A bran muffin in the morning would help that...
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Boss Paul Vitti: Fuck Freud.
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Boss Paul Vitti: I couldn't get it up last night.
Dr. Ben Sobel: You mean sexually?
Boss Paul Vitti: No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the fuck's the matter with you?
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Dr. Ben Sobel: You broke my heart, Jelly, you broke my heart.
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[Impersonating a gangster]
Dr. Ben Sobel: My name is Ben Sobel... -lioni. Ben Sobellioni. I'm also known as, uh, Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnazz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine.
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Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do when I'm angry? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.
[Vitti pulls out a gun and shoots a pillow]
Boss Paul Vitti: There's your fuckin' pillow.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?
Boss Paul Vitti: Yeah, I do.
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Boss Paul Vitti: Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine, well they're trying to do that to me now. And I'm having a lot of feelings about that. And I'm trying to get some closure on that.
Primo Sidone: What kind of feelings?
Boss Paul Vitti: I'm very angry. I'm feeling very angry about that. I'm enraged. I'm feeling very, very mad about that.
Primo Sidone: So why are you telling me?
Boss Paul Vitti: Why am i telling you? Like you don't know nothing about it? You don't know nothing? What?
Primo Sidone: I don't know what your talking about.
Boss Paul Vitti: I'm just trying to, tell you about my feelings and that I'm angry, and that anger is a blocked wish. And I'm looking forward to seeing you next week at that thing. Then i can unblock that angered wish and then hopefully, hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker ill fucking cut your fucking balls off ill shove them up your fucking ass, ill fucking bury you, ill put ice picks in your eyes, ill chop your fucking eyeballs, ill send them to your fucking family so they can eat them for dessert. You understand me?
Primo Sidone: Hey Paul.
Boss Paul Vitti: What?
Primo Sidone: Fuck you!
Boss Paul Vitti: You Motherfucker!
Primo Sidone: [to Moony] You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. If that's what hes going to hit us with, i want to know what it is.
Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] How was that?
Dr. Ben Sobel: It was going great until the, cutting off of the balls and shoving it up his, ass. You know what i do when I'm mad? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow. See how you feel?
Boss Paul Vitti: [pulls out a gun and starts shooting the pillow] There's you fucking pillow.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?
Boss Paul Vitti: Yeah, I do.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Good.
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Primo Sidone: Get a dictionary. Find out what this "closure" thing is. If that's what he's going to hit us with, I want to be ready.
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Dr. Ben Sobel: You know normally a patient wouldn't have a vat of Scotch during a session.

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