I, Robot
I, Robot

I, Robot

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User Rating: 5 / 5
(1 vote)
Year: 2004
Number of Quotes: 90
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from I, Robot (2004) (Movie)

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[to VIKI]
Det. Del Spooner: You have SO got to die.
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Det. Del Spooner: [after one of the guards in the elevator grips Spooner's shoulder] So what hospital are you going to? I'll meet you there and sign you and your buddies' casts.
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Det. Del Spooner: Stop cussing.
Farber: And go home, I got you.
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Sonny: 2880 steps, Detective.
Det. Del Spooner: Do me a favor, keep that kind'o'shit to yourself.
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Det. Del Spooner: Hold my pie.
Guy with a Pie: [looks at Spooner blankly]
Det. Del Spooner: Sir, hold it or wear it.
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V.I.K.I.: You are making a mistake. My logic is undeniable.
Det. Del Spooner: You have so got to die.
[injects nanites into V.I.K.I]
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Susan Calvin: What happened to you?
Det. Del Spooner: Headed back to the station. Normal day, normal life. The driver of a semi fell asleep at the wheel. Average guy, wife and kids, working a double. *Not* the devil. The car he hit, the driver's name was Harold Lloyd. Like the film star, but no relation. He was killed instantly. But his twelve-year-old was sitting in the passenger's seat. Never really met her. Can't forget her face, though. Sarah.
[fingering the necklace]
Det. Del Spooner: This was hers. She wanted to be a dentist. What the hell kind of twelve-year-old wants to be a dentist? Yeah, um... the truck smashed our cars together and pushed us into the river. You know, metal gets pretty pliable at those speeds. She's pinned, I'm pinned, the water's coming in. I'm a cop, so I know everybody's dead. Just a few minutes until we figure that out. NS4 was passing by and jumped in the river.
NS4 Robots: [from flashback] You are in danger!
Det. Del Spooner: [from flashback] Save her!
NS4 Robots: [from flashback] You are in danger!
Det. Del Spooner: [from flashback] Save her! Save the girl!
Det. Del Spooner: But it didn't. Saved me.
Susan Calvin: The robot's brain is a difference engine. It's reading vital signs. It must have done...
Det. Del Spooner: It did. I was the logical choice. It calculated that I had a 45% chance of survival. Sarah only had an 11% chance. That was somebody's baby. 11% is more than enough. A human being would've known that. Robots,
[indicating his heart]
Det. Del Spooner: nothing here, just lights and clockwork. Go ahead, you trust 'em if you want to.
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NS5 Robots: [Jumps on car and tries to steer car out of control] You are experiencing a car accident.
Det. Del Spooner: The hell I am.
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Det. Del Spooner: I thought you were dead.
Sonny: Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.
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Det. Del Spooner: Sonny.
Sonny: Yes, detective?
Det. Del Spooner: Calvin's fine, save me.
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Det. Del Spooner: You are a clever imitation of life... Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot take a blank canvas and turn it into a masterpiece?
Sonny: Can you?
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Farber: Oh, mother-damn! She shot at you with her eyes closed!
Det. Del Spooner: Hey! Did you shoot at me with your eyes closed?
Susan Calvin: It worked, didn't it?
Farber: She is shit-hot, man. Put in a good word for me.
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Farber: Oh, Mother-damn, she just shot at you with her eyes closed, Spoon.
Det. Del Spooner: Hey! Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?
Susan Calvin: Well it worked, didn't it?
Farber: Spoon, she is shit-hot, man. You gotta put in a good word for me.
Det. Del Spooner: Stop cussing!
Farber: And go home, I gotcha.
Det. Del Spooner: [to Calvin] *Aim* and fire.
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Susan Calvin: Are you being funny?
Det. Del Spooner: I guess not.
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Det. Del Spooner: [to the head of USR] Um, look, this isn't what I do, but I've got an idea for one of your commercials. You see... a carpenter, making a beautiful chair. And then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen, "USR: Shittin' on the Little Guy". That would be the fade-out.
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Susan Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day?
Det. Del Spooner: Yeah. Once. It was a Thursday.
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Det. Del Spooner: [sneezes] ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
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[first lines]
Det. Del Spooner: [singing along with Stevie Wonder's "Superstition"] Seven years of bad luck.
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[first title cards]
Title card: Law I / A robot may not harm a human or, by inaction, allow a human being to come to harm
Title card: Law II / A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first law
Title card: Law III / A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law
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[last lines]
P.A. announcer: All NS-5's proceed as instructed. All NS-5's proceed as instructed.

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