Fun with Dick and Jane
Fun with Dick and Jane

Fun with Dick and Jane

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2005
Genre: Comedy / Crime
Number of Quotes: 27
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Fun with Dick and Jane (2005) (Movie)

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[repeated line]
Oz Peterson: Son of a bitch!
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Dick Harper: [holding McCallister at gunpoint] I've been terminated, bankrupted, deported and blackmailed because of you, and I'm not leaving here without your money.
Jack McCallister: What are you gonna do, Dick? Shoot me if I don't approve that form?
Dick Harper: Write me a check.
Jack McCallister: You are kidding me.
Jane Harper: Dick, it's not going to do us any good. He's just going to cancel it the minute we walk out of here.
Dick Harper: I don't care... I don't care. I'm not walking out of this bank empty-handed.
Jack McCallister: ...Alright. Alright, Dick, I'm gonna write you a check. I'm gonna need my hand back though.
Dick Harper: Gladly.
[releases grip]
Jack McCallister: Alright, yes sir, I'm gonna write you that check, and what's more I'm not gonna cancel it as soon as I leave the bank because I think it takes alotta cojones to do what you two have done here today, and I admire that. So, here you go. Just a little something to show you what I think you're worth.
[hands him a check for $100]
Jack McCallister: Y'all take care now.
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Billy Harper: What are you doing to the television?
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Billy Harper: Mama quit her yob yayyyy!
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Jane Harper: I went to this Botox Experiment, and I had a little accident... does it really look that bad?
Dick Harper: No. Just... different.
Day Laborer: Hey Dick, can we talk about these some other time?
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Dick Harper: [after watching the news saying he is going to be indicted] Indicted?
Jane Harper: Dick?
Dick Harper: [screaming] Indicted!
Jane Harper: Dick, its gonna' be alright.
Dick Harper: [starts running around house screaming] Indicted, Indicted, I'm being Indicted!
Jane Harper: [Yells to him in a different room] Dick calm down.
Dick Harper: [Runs back in to bedroom]
[In pitiful voice]
Dick Harper: I can't calm down, I'm being indicted...
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Dick Harper: INDICTED!
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Dick Harper: Billy tell your father he's a winner.
Billy Harper: Papa es ganador.
Dick Harper: see?
Billy Harper: SI!
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Dick Harper: We followed the rules, and we got screwed.
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Jack McCallister: Dick Harper, Dick Harper, Dick Harper playing the harp. Harpo Marx playing the Jews harp.*DH*, DH! You're my Designated Hitter!
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Jack McCallister: Did I get it?
Jack's Assistant: [Shoots his gun] Now you did.
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Dick Harper: [after being punched in the mouth, sound like he is trying to have in American accent] No, I swear, I am an American citizen.
INS Agent: Save it.
[dragging Dick to deportation bus]
Dick Harper: No, call my wife... It's ringing
Billy Harper: [answers the phone] Hola?
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[With her accent, Richard sounds like retard]
Blanca: What's a matter, Retard?
Dick Harper: Call me Dick.
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Kostmart Training Leader: I'll sell you my pee for a hundred dollars. Been off the pipe for two years.
[snaps]
Kostmart Training Leader: Thank you Jesus!
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Dick Harper: Son of a bitch!
Jane Harper: That fucker!
Dick Harper: Hon, language.
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Dick Harper: We're all just cavemen, Trying to protect our little patch of land. Well now I've got a club, and I'm gonna take what I need.
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Disgruntled Kostmart Customer: I saw you eyeballing me! All up in my goodies!
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Dick Harper: I got the lawn back.
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Karen Williams: [Seeing her car smashed] What is your problem?
Frank Bascom: [extremely drunk] What's my problem? You're parked in a handicapped spot!
Karen Williams: That's not a handicapped spot!
Frank Bascom: It is now!
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Dick Harper: I'm pretty sure she's gonna notice her car isn't towed.
Frank Bascom: Right, I'll stall her.
[Frank backs his car straight into female banker's car]

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