Bruce Almighty
Bruce Almighty

Bruce Almighty

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2003
Genre: Comedy / Fantasy
Number of Quotes: 77
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Bruce Almighty (2003) (Movie)

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Evan Baxter: Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out tonight, after the game.
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Grace Connelly: [after Bruce was attacked by hoodlums] Oh, thank God you're all right.
Bruce Nolan: Yeah, let's thank God, shall we? For his blessings are raining down upon me. Wait, that's not rain!
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Jack Baylor: There he is, the man of the hour!
Bruce Nolan: Bless you, bless *all* of you! Be fruitful... and do long division or something!
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Stalled Car Guy: Well, thanks a million. God bless.
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Bruce Nolan: What up with thee.
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God: Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.
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Bruce Nolan: [Bruce turns around from a mirror and sees the dog urinating on a chair] Grace, the dog!
Grace Connelly: I'm in the shower!
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Bruce Nolan: Vol? Vol? You want a tissue or something? Can we get Vol a tissue... or a spoon?
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[Bruce blowing so walk-by-girl's dress lifts]
Bruce Nolan: I saw it, and it was *good*!
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Bruce Nolan: Excuse me, I need a spoooo...
[a spoon appears, sliding out of his mouth]
Bruce Nolan: It's okay, I found one.
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Bruce Nolan: What if I need you? What if I have questions?
God: That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.
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God: No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.
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[looking in mirror and doing a Walter Cronkite impression]
Bruce Nolan: That's the way it was... and that's the way the cookie crumbles... and That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it uh HUH uh HUH.
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[after God finds the bead that Bruce had earlier threw in the lake]
Bruce Nolan: Holy sh... cow.
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Grace Connelly: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Bruce Nolan: See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.
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Homeless Man: [holding up a sign] "GOD BEE GOOD HONEY"
Bruce Nolan: [holds up his own sign] "WHATEVER HE SAID - >"
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[while Bruce is looking a guy next to a broken down car]
Homeless Man: [holding up a sign] "ALL FOR WON"
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[during the riot]
Homeless Man: [holding up a sign] "THY KINGDUMB COME"
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Bruce Nolan: God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.
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[after gang beats up Bruce]
Homeless Man: [holding up a sign] "LIFE IS JUST"

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