Me, Myself & Irene
Me, Myself & Irene

Me, Myself & Irene

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2000
Genre: Comedy
Number of Quotes: 67
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Me, Myself & Irene (2000) (Movie)

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Hank Evans: Free hot dogs here, all you can eat! Get your foot long and a bag of nuts!
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Hank Evans: Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates. Would you like to see my weasel?
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Jamaal: These two motherfuckers can do the shopping, and I'll do the cooking.
Lee Harvey: Man, you'll do the cooking? Man, you're the one who thought you got chipped beef from a toothy blowjob.
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Mr. Murphy: [seeing Hank Evans urinating into the tank] Get your cock out of my Chrysler, you son of a bitch!
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Hank Evans: Listen, Pocahontas, unless you put your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo comin'!
Irene P. Waters: Ok, look, I don't know what that means!
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Irene P. Waters: Charlie may not be long off the tee, but he's got a very good up and down game.
Hank Evans: What? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Can we just speak English here?
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Hank Evans: What are you staring at fucker? You wanna start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord, pal. There's gonna be an earthquake and you're dancing on the fault line.
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Hank Evans: Charlie's like origami, he folds under pressure.
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Hank Evans: [after Dicky get's knocked out] Is that your old golfing partner?
Irene P. Waters: Yes.
Hank Evans: Well, I hope he doesn't mind if I play through.
Irene P. Waters: Stop it, Hank
Hank Evans: Fine, turn around. I'll play the back nine.
Irene P. Waters: I mean it.
Hank Evans: C'mon. He couldn't have chewed the greens that badly.
Irene P. Waters: He hasn't played in awhile. It was Charlie who was up to putt.
Hank Evans: Charlie?
Irene P. Waters: Yeah. He may not be long off the tee, but he has one hell of a up and down game.
Hank Evans: [Fustrated] What the hell are you talking about!
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Irene P. Waters: Did you just refer to yourself in the fourth person?
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Hank Evans: Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone.
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Lee Harvey: You keep fuckin' around and you gonna get that scholarship to Yale taken away. End up at Stanford with a muthafuckin' sling blade.
Jamaal: Shit, yo' ass gonna be lucky to get into Duke, gettin' a muthafuckin' 1430 on yo' SATs.
Lee Harvey: Shit, muthafucka you know I had the flu.
Jamaal: You'd have to have a muthafuckin' aneurysm to get a 1430, shit.
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Hank Evans: [to Irene] Name's Hank, Hank Evans - for little girls...
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Charlie Baileygates: Well, we can't be calling you Milky if your comin' with us, so what's your name?
Whitey: Casper, but my friends call me Whitey.
Charlie Baileygates: Uh, okay.
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Irene P. Waters: You should be furious. I just dropped kicked you right in the face.
Charlie Baileygates: Hey, it happens.
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Hank Evans: Holy Jesus in heaven! it's a giant Q-tip.
Irene P. Waters: Hank!
Hank Evans: What? I'm jokin' with the guy. Bringin' a little sunshine into his life. Careful, you'll peel.
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Charlie Baileygates: Irene?
Irene P. Waters: Hmm?
Charlie Baileygates: Why am I peeing like I was up all night having sex?
Narrator: Well, it seems old Hank had pulled a fast one.
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[after Dicky falls on Hank]
Hank Evans: Warden. I want my own cell.
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Hank Evans: I noticed you conveniently left out your eating disorder.
Irene P. Waters: I don't have and eating disorder.
Hank Evans: Whatever you say, slim.
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Irene P. Waters: I never wanted to sleep with you, Hank! Okay, you tricked me!
Hank Evans: Yes, I tricked you. It was deceitful, it was disgusting and despicable. But just for once, see it from my side.
[shrugs]
Hank Evans: I was horny.

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