Zeus Carver: Watch it! Watch it!

John McClane: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

Zeus Carver: Not even God knows what you're doing, McClane!

Inspector Cobb: John, have you been drinking?

John McClane: No, not since this morning.

John McClane: You think we should call a fire truck?

Zeus Carver: Fuck 'em, just let 'em cook!

John McClane: Oh shit.

Zeus Carver: What? WHAT?

John McClane: I left Holly hanging on the phone.

Zeus Carver: Ah, call her back.

John McClane: Uhh, she's going to be pissed.

Zeus Carver: She'll get over it.

John McClane: I don't know, Zeus. Like I said, she's a very stubborn woman.

Zeus Carver: She'd have to be to stay married to you.

Inspector Cobb: Alan, Bomb Squad, Special Services, State Police and the F.B.I. Lt. Jurgensen, you, Plummer, go to St. John's Emergency in case we got any walk-ins from the street. Kramer, get the City Engineer. I got to find out our damage report.

Gang Member: [in German] Nicht schiessen!

John McClane: [shoots him] What was that?

Mathias Targo: [kicks McClane] He said "Don't shoot!"

Simon Gruber: Why was the phone busy? Who were you calling?

John McClane: Psychic Hotline!

Zeus Carver: Boy, is he pissed.

John McClane: Maybe he'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.

Zeus Carver: DAMN! That was MY gold bar!

Principal Martinez: Hi kids. Now I know you all have assemblies on Friday, but today's special. Mr. Lambert here is from the fire department and today he wants us to practice a brand new fire drill.

Raymond: [seeing Joe Lambert's police badge] Yeah right. Fire drill? That guy's not from the fire department.

Dexter: [sees police badge too and stutters] Maybe it's because of the radio.

Raymond: You mean like they're after us?

Dexter: Tony squealed on us!

Raymond: No he didn't.

Raymond: Yo, uncle!

Dexter: Come look at this!

Zeus Carver: [looks at watch] It's ten after nine. Why aren't you in school?

Raymond: Tony wants to sell you this.

Zeus Carver: Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?

Dexter: He says he found it in a dumpster.

Zeus Carver: He keeps stealing from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.

Raymond: No, he didn't steal it. He says his uncle gave it to him.

Zeus Carver: Mm-hm? Hand me that newspaper over there.

Raymond: [does]

Zeus Carver: [takes it, and whaps his nephews' heads lightly] Don't *ever* let people use you. I don't know how many times I've got to say that to you all. You're running all over town with stolen property; if you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.

Dexter: You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?

Zeus Carver: No, I'll take it back to Tony... with a message.

Mathias Targo: [throws and slams John McClane wildly around ship room]

John McClane: [hits the floor hard and stunned]

Mathias Targo: [menacingly] You going to do something? You going to arrest me? Hmm?

John McClane: [sees chain on ground and says weakly] No, I don't think I'm gonna arrest you.

John McClane: I'm gonna fuckin' -

Kid #1: It's like Christmas. You could steal City Hall.

Kid #1: My bike? Hey, my bike!

Zeus Carver: Yeah, it's Christmas!

Simon Gruber: [Simon has just broken into the Federal Reserve] One hundred and forty billion dollars! That's ten times more than what's in Kentucky. Fort Knox? Ha! Fort Knox is for tourists.

Zeus Carver: What the hell's it doing now?

John McClane: It's mixing.

Simon Gruber: [on the phone] Is there a detective named McClane there?.

Inspector Cobb: He's on suspension

Simon Gruber: No Walter, he's not. Not today.

Inspector Cobb: Who is this?

Simon Gruber: Call me Simon.

Inspector Cobb: What do you want?

Simon Gruber: I want to play a game.

Inspector Cobb: What kind of game?

Simon Gruber: Simon says

Simon Gruber: Simon's going to tell Lieutenant McClane what to do, and Lieutenant McClane is going to do it. No compliance will result in a penalty.

Inspector Cobb: What penalty?

Simon Gruber: Another big bang in a very public place.

Charles Weiss: Six booby traps, four dead ends, "and a Partridge in a pear tree." Okay, honey. Let's dance.

Mathias Targo: I see you all day, little man, policeman...

Mathias Targo: ...and you don't go away.

John McClane: Yeah, I'm that fucking Energizer bunny.

Charles Weiss: No guts. No glory.

Mathias Targo: I told you not to toy with him!

Simon Gruber: Thank you, that's very helpful.

Zeus Carver: Why do you keep calling me Jésus? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?

John McClane: Guy back there called you Jésus.

Zeus Carver: He didn't say Jésus. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.

John McClane: Zeus?

Zeus Carver: Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

John McClane: No, I don't have a problem with that.