Dogma
Dogma

Dogma

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 1999
Number of Quotes: 145
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Dogma (1999) (Movie)

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Metatron: Behold the Metatron. Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God.
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Metatron: It never ends.
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Hospital P. A.: I repeat, this is not a drill. This is the apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion. Thank you.
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Bethany: [shouting] Why? What the fuck do you want with me? I fucking hate you.
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Bethany: Why are we here?
God: [pokes Bethany's nose] Nweep.
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[Liz gets out of her car and heads into Women's Clinic; picketers greet her]
Steve-Dave Pulasti: You're gonna burn in hell, ya fuckin' baby killer.
Walter Grover: Yeah, tell her, Steve-Dave.
Liz: Holy shit, it's The Pope.
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[after Rufus has fallen from the sky]
Bethany: Speaking of which, you're awfully nude. Rufus, is it?
Rufus: Yes, Rufus it is. It's usually 'Long Rufus' but it's a little cold out here, ya know?
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Bartleby: You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.
Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less.
Bartleby: Mr. Newman - you got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party and then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out, just so you could break up with her guilt-free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed herself two months later. Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Very compassionate, Mr. Brace. Mr. Ray put his mother in a third-rate nursing home and then used the profits from the sale of her home to buy an oriental rug for himself. Heavens. Mr. Barker flew to Thailand on the company account to have sex with an eleven year old boy. Mr. Holtzman okayed the production of Mooby Dolls from materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe, because it was - survey says? - less costly.
[sees the female board member]
Bartleby: You, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life. Good for you. But you, Mr. Whitland, you have more skeletons in your closet than the rest of this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud.
[whispers something in Whitland's ear]
Loki: You're his father, you sick fuck.
[Whitland starts crying]
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Jay: Oh, I'm Jay, and this is my hetero-lifemate Silent Bob. I don't know who those kids were, but they would've kicked yours and Lunchbox's asses if I hadn't represented.
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Jay: No wonder he saw Jesus. Homey's rockin' the ganj.
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Rufus: Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.
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Rufus: Why? 'Cause I'm a black man.
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Nun: I never thought of it that way... what am I doing with my life... what am I...?
Loki: I know, I know. You should take all this money that you've been collecting for your parish and go out and buy yourself a nice dress.
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[to the female board member]
Loki: You're a pure soul... but you didn't say "God bless you" when I sneezed.
[raises his gun to the female board member's head]
Bartleby: Loki!
Loki: [angrily] You're getting off light.
[as he leaves the board room]
Loki: You're so lucky.
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[about the protesters outside the Abortion Clinic]
Liz: You're Catholic, can't you talk to them?
Bethany: They hate me more than you. At least you have an excuse, you're Jewish, you don't know any better.
Liz: I don't think they'd accept that one, we used that one already when we killed Christ.
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Loki: All lines are currently down.
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Jay: You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.
Bethany: I'll keep that in mind.
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Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism, wow, Cardinal Glick.
Cardinal Glick: Thank you, thank you. Now we all know how the majority and the media in this country view the Catholic church. They think of us as a passe, archaic, institution. People find the bible obtuse, even hokey. Now in an effort to disprove all that, the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal, both of faith and of style.
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Bartleby: Hello, we'd like two tickets to New Jersey, please.
Bus Station Attendant: Jersey's sold out, sir.
Loki: What?
Bus Station Attendant: There's one at the same time tomorrow. I suggest you not underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State, and show up two hours in advance.
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Jay: [waking from a dream] I didn't cum on you, Pete, I swear.

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