Juno
Juno

Juno

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User Rating: 5 / 5
(2 votes)
Year: 2007
Genre: Romance / Drama / Comedy
Number of Quotes: 55
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Juno (2007) (Movie)

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Juno MacGuff: Ow, ow, fuckity-ow! Bren, when do I get that spinal tap thing?
Bren MacGuff: It's called a spinal block. And you can't have it yet, honey. The doctor said you're not dilated enough.
Juno MacGuff: You mean I have to wait for it to get worse? Why can't they just give it to me now?
Bren MacGuff: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...
[Juno lets out painful scream, Brenda checks her watch]
Bren MacGuff: Shit.
[to doctor]
Bren MacGuff: Hey, can we get my kid the damn spinal tap already?
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Juno MacGuff: And Bleeker is actually great... in chair.
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Juno MacGuff: I'm losing my faith in humanity.
Mac MacGuff: Think you can narrow it down for me?
Juno MacGuff: I guess I wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good.
Mac MacGuff: You mean like couples?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah, like people in love.
Mac MacGuff: Are you having boy troubles? I gotta be honest; I don't much approve of dating in your condition, 'cause well... that's kind of messed up.
Juno MacGuff: Dad, no!
Mac MacGuff: Well, it's kind of skanky. Isn't that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
Juno MacGuff: Please stop now.
Mac MacGuff: [persisting] Tore up from the floor up?
Juno MacGuff: Dad, it's not about that. I just need to know if it's possible for two people to stay happy together forever, or at least for a few years.
Mac MacGuff: It's not easy, that's for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I'm proud to say that we're very happy.
[Juno nods]
Mac MacGuff: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
Juno MacGuff: I sort of already have.
Mac MacGuff: Well, of course! You're old D-A-D! You know I'll always be there to love and support you no matter what kind of pickle you're in... Obviously
[nods to her belly]
Juno MacGuff: I need to go out somewhere just for a little while. I don't have any homework and I swear I'll be back by ten.
Mac MacGuff: You were talking about me right?
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Leah: God you're getting huge. How many months has it been now?
Juno MacGuff: Um it's coming up on the eighth. You should see me naked.
Leah: I wish my funbags would get bigger.
Juno MacGuff: Trust me, you don't. I actually have to wear a bra now and I have to rub this nasty cocoa butter stuff all over myself or my skin could get stretched too far and explode.
Leah: Hot!
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Juno MacGuff: So have you and Vanessa thought of a name for the baby yet?
Mark Loring: Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison for a girl.
Juno MacGuff: [aghast] Madison? That is so... GAY!
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Mac MacGuff: I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.
Juno MacGuff: I don't know what kind of girl I am.
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Juno MacGuff: ...and the receptianist tried to get me to take these condoms that looked like grape suckers and was just babbling away about her freaking boyfiends pie balls! Oh an Su-Chin was there and she was like, "Hi babies have fingernails." Fingernails!
Leah: Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?
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Su-Chin: I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
Juno MacGuff: Oh well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.
Su-Chin: No thanks I'm off pills.
Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!"
Su-Chin: I heard that was you.
Juno MacGuff: Well, it was good seeing ya Su-Chin.
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Steve Rendazo: Hey, your book fell apart!
Juno MacGuff: Right?
Steve Rendazo: It must've looked at your face!
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Juno MacGuff: [dog barking] Geez, Banana! Shut your freakin' gob!
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Juno MacGuff: Hi, I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion...
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Su-Chin: [protesting in front of the abortion clinic] All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!
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Mark Loring: [after Vanessa's asks him if he found an apartment] It's not an apartment, it's a loft.
Vanessa Loring: Well, aren't you the cool guy?
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Mark Loring: [to Juno] You are so young.
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Juno MacGuff: [leaning up against the wall as she's in labor] OWW! OWW! Fuckity OW!
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Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.
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Juno MacGuff: Oh, *wicked* pic in the PennySaver, by the way. Super classy - not like those people with the fake woods in the background. Honestly who do they think they're fooling?
Vanessa Loring: You found us in the PennySaver?
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Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.
Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.
Paulie Bleeker: Would you shut up?
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Mac MacGuff: Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener.
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Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.
Vanessa Loring: That's great.
Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

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