Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

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User Rating: 4 / 5
(1 vote)
Year: 2005
Number of Quotes: 88
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) (Movie)

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Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
Jane Smith: Paid actor.
John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!
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John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
[pause]
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.
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John Smith: [after his wife checks his crotch for a weapon] That's all John, sweetheart.
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John Smith: How many? Ok... I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but...
Jane Smith: 312.
John Smith: What? How?
Jane Smith: Some were two at a time.
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Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
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John Smith: We're going to have to re-do every conversation we've ever had.
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Mom: Eddie?
Eddie: [shouts] Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!
Mom: [pause] Never mind.
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John Smith: Dance with me.
Jane Smith: You don't dance.
John Smith: It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith: Was sloth your cover, too?
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Jane Smith: [referring to the pursuing cars] They're bulletproof!
John Smith: [having not heard and shot at the cars] They're bulletproof!
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[first lines]
John Smith: [at the marriage counselor's] OK, I'll go first. Um... Let me say, uh, we don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.
Jane Smith: Six.
John Smith: [chastened] Five, six years.
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John Smith: We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being.
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Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs assault rifle] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
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Lucky: What? You're looking for a job or something?
John Smith: You are the job.
[John kills everybody in the room]
John Smith: [looking at the cards at the table] Pair of threes.
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Benjamin Danz: [while being interrogated and tortured by John Smith] Can I have a soda or a juice or...
Benjamin Danz: [Jane hits him with the telephone] A! A! Option A! Ow, that hurt.
John Smith: Ok, that was a nice shot.
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Jane Smith: To dodging bullets.
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John Smith: Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punchline is... you die.
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Jane Smith: There's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you.
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Jane Smith: You ever have trouble sleeping after?
John Smith: No.
Jane Smith: Me neither.
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Jane Smith: That vacation in Aspen, you left early, why?
John Smith: Jean-Luc Gespar.
Jane Smith: Damn, I wanted him.
John Smith: I got it.
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[both have discovered that they were on the desert and one tried to kill the other]
John Smith: I missed you.
Jane Smith: I missed you too.

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