Zoolander
Zoolander

Zoolander

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2001
Genre: Comedy
Number of Quotes: 98
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Zoolander (2001) (Movie)

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Mugatu: As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!
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Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first.
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Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see?
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Derek Zoolander: God?
Maury Ballstein: God? What the shit are you talkin' about. It's me, Maury.
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Derek Zoolander: Look, I think I know what this is about and I'm complimented but not interested.
Matilda Jeffries: What?
Derek Zoolander: I can't sleep with you OK? My head is killing me...
Matilda Jeffries: What are you talking about?
Derek Zoolander: OK, if you just want to fool around or...
Matilda Jeffries: WAIT! I don't want to sleep with you!
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Derek Zoolander: Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
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Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
Matilda Jeffries: Done it in a while, yeh.
Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?
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Hansel: I hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of.
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Mugatu: Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!
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Mugatu: You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything.
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Derek Zoolander: Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogalizor I am.
Matilda Jeffries: What?
Derek Zoolander: A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?
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J.P. Prewitt: I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.
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J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
Matilda Jeffries: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model.
J.P. Prewitt: You're goddamn right he wasn't, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were!
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Derek Zoolander: You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't.
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Matilda Jeffries: Derek that was unbelievable!
Derek Zoolander: I know! I turned left!
Matilda Jeffries: Yeah, that too, but Derek, you saved the prime minister of Malaysia!
Derek Zoolander: Oh, right, cool.
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Mugatu: [hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus and I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!
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Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
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Mugatu: Hansel... so hot right now... Hansel.
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Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
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[after being in a coal mine for a day]
Derek Zoolander: [high-pitched cough] ... I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there.
Larry Zoolander: For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day. Talk to me in thirty years.

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