Zoolander
Zoolander

Zoolander

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User Rating: 0 / 5
(0 votes)
Year: 2001
Genre: Comedy
Number of Quotes: 98
Submitted by: TheRudyStyle


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Movie Quotes from Zoolander (2001) (Movie)

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Maury Ballstein: Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
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[after he pokes a girl with a pin]
Mugatu: Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
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Derek Zoolander: I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
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Derek Zoolander: Pretty soon, they'll be reading *our* eugoogaly!
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J.P. Prewitt: Male models don't think for themselves.
Derek Zoolander: That's not true!
J.P. Prewitt: Yes it is, Derek.
Derek Zoolander: [meekly] Okay.
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Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
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Derek Zoolander: Why do you hate models, Matilda?
Matilda Jeffries: Honestly?
Hansel: Yes.
Matilda Jeffries: I think they're vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered.
Hansel: I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?
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Matilda Jeffries: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda Jeffries: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
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Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!
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[Talking about the files]
Hansel: They're *in* the computer?
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Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda Jeffries: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
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Matilda Jeffries: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek Zoolander: Ew!
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Maury Ballstein: I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
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[a judge is needed for the "walk-off"]
David Bowie: If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.
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Hansel: You is talking loco and I like it!
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Derek Zoolander: Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.
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Derek Zoolander: I'm sorry I was wack.
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Billy Zane: Hey, Derek, back on top, man.
Derek Zoolander: Thanks, Billy. You rock.
Billy Zane: No, you rock. When you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy?
Derek Zoolander: Not yet. You gotta tame the beast before you let it out of its cage.
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Mugatu: Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.
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Derek Zoolander: So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?

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