Artemus Gordon: I've been trying to place myself in Loveless' shoes.

Capt. James West: Good luck with that one.

Artemus Gordon: What could this demented maniac with no reproductive organs, want with Rita?

Artemus Gordon: [Rita falls through the train's sliding roof, beside West, unseen by Gordon] Which is not to say Rita doesn't possess a beauty worthy of a Shakespeare sonnet or a Botticelli painting. My god, the curvature of her buttocks and the swell of that magnificent bosom. So full, so sumptous, so...

Artemus Gordon: [turns and notices Rita] ... what were all those foreign ministers doing at Loveless' party? This is what really puzzles me, did you have any idea there were so many, so foreign, so...

Artemus Gordon: How long has she been here?

Capt. James West: Somewhere around Botticelli's buttocks.

Artemus Gordon: I am profoundly sorry.