President Grant: Gentlemen, you'll be happy to know that I'm starting a new agency, whose sole purpose is the protection of the President. Welcome to the Secret Service, Agents Number One, and Number Two.

Artemus Gordon: Thank you, Mr. President.

Artemus Gordon: Sir, if you don't mind my asking, which of us is Number One and which is Number Two?

President Grant: I don't think that really matters, Gordon, do you?

Artemus Gordon: Not if you don't, sir.